Dedication from the heart...

I lost my father in law recently. He lives in Dubai and when trying to cross the road, he was hit by a mini van. How the accident happened is a story by itself. We have digested the fact that he is no more, but what we are not able to digest is the accident, for he was somebody who always abided by the law. He would never talk over the phone or to anybody while crossing the road and used to follow the road rules very religiously. Even in India, when everybody takes traffic rules for granted, he would religiously follow them. Accident should have never happened to such a man. But whatever happened, a wonderful man is no more.

A group of students who were in the van and who acted very responsible at the spot wrote an article about the accident and prayed so much. Unfortunately, my father in law didn’t make it, the strike was so severe that he passed away at that second. Was so touched by these youngsters acting so responsible at the spot and not stopping just there, but also spreading a message. Gave them this article as a reply and thought of posting it in my blog also. My blog just got better by writing about him and this is not an exaggeration. Just that the man who was reading my blogs has now become the source of inspiration for this write up and there will be no more visits from UAE that always made me smile thinking that my father in law was frequently visiting my blog.

My father in law was a very honest and straight forward man and sometimes, did get into trouble because of these traits. He was 56, but never looked like one. He was always full of life, the perfect companion for anybody of any age. He would talk philosophy to a 60 year old and also run around with a 4 year old. He was the best friend of many, from his 4 year old neighbour to 75 year olds. He was so traditional and yet so trendy. He would religiously perform all the duties and rites for God without the slightest compromise and also roam around with folks and friends and enjoy that so much. He had strong beliefs but a very broad mind to accomodate them appropriately. He was strict and yet the liveliest companion with whom anybody would be comfortable with. He would scold anybody who does a mistake, without any reluctance and yet shower so much affection more than one could imagine. He did so much to so many, he always believed in being a friend in need. He might not even be in the scene when you are fine, but when something is wrong, he would appear from nowhere and be there with you and do all that you might not even know you want. He would chat with his sons' friends so casually pulling their legs all the time that he was their best friend. What's surprising is that there are so many outside the family who grieve for the loss of their best companion. He rocked wherever he went, never sat idle for a second (remember, its our laziness most of the times thats the cause for not fulfilling our duties), was so CHEERFUL and YOUTHFUL (trust me, these are THE first adjectives for him), always had a fan following and still the most down to earth companion for anybody. He would talk away heartily, sit and pull everybody's legs and we all would laugh away heartily.

I have known him for a little over 2 years and have spent very less time with him, he being there and we in India, but I know that he is the best father in law one can ever imagine. All that we could think of now, is him. We have so many people in our lives and we know the people who have created an impact. Its just that we like them or love them deep inside and we carry on with the feeling lying within. But how often do we stop to think exclusively about the people in our lives. In the first few hours, the more I thought about him, the more I missed him. I cant write as his son or wife, for, the feelings are natural and can't be explained. But as a daughter in law, I believe that my feelings are more general, not just the family ties. It was then that I realised, that even if we spend a few hours thinking about just one person in our life, we will realise the true worth of all the people in our lives who mean so much to us, within a few days, be it our own parents too. Just that during such an event, the realisation is more like an enlightenment, something that cannot be obtained by going around with just the subconscious love for the people in our lives. People say that a person's worth is not felt as long as he is with us, but I believe that we do know the worth, just that we don’t know it completely. And when we know it, trust me, we can do so much more for them. For, a later realisation is horrible. We love some people so much that we would do just anything for them. But believe me, when they are no more, we always realise so much more and regret for the things we failed to do. What use?

Everybody is unique, but to many of us, ' M R Mohanamuraly' is the definition for the word 'unique'. He has always brought so much cheer into the lives of all the people that he met. He has done so much to so many without expecting anything in return that each and everybody today, feel that they haven’t paid him back for all the goodness he has brought into their lives. He was such an active man, so active that his every day had at least a couple of things done for others besides his job, be it even staying awake with his sons, setting question papers and helping them prepare for their exams. How many of us can go for work, come back, assist the spouse with household work and stay awake and help the children prepare for their exam. This is probably the simplest thing he has done. He was sincere, dedicated, meticulous and tireless when it came to taking care of all the people around him, from his family to his relatives to his friends to even his sons’ friends. I am not able to express completely the things he has done, but believe me, it’s hard to find somebody who has never compromised on anything for his own tiredness or laziness. Staying active is also a state of mind. But when it comes to the physical aspect, he took such good care of his health and ensured that he remained active and healthy. He was fit and trim and never looked like a 56 year old.

Most importantly, he was such a contented man, loved his life, his family, his friends and we are sure he would regret his own death so much. Just that the strike was so severe that he had died even before he could have realised what was happening. I have written so much in my blog about how reckless people are on the roads, that one needs to be very careful even when one is following the rules, but now, there is such an irrepairable experience. All that we need to do is be sincere in whatever we do, for we have so many people behind us and others. Am not talking about just this accident or the driver or my father in law. Negligence is the reason behind every evil happening today and if that can be removed, if we become more sincere and honest about whatever we do, we can definitely prevent mishaps atleast from our side, and what goes around comes around. :)

It's just one life we have and let's live it. Let us be sincere about every simple thing we do. Live your moment, for the loss of alertness for just a moment could lead to a very big tragedy. Always be the friend in need. And coming back, let us spend some time thinking about the people in our lives. Let us be cheerful and happy about our own lives and let us bring cheer into the lives of everybody else. After all, everybody has just one life. And when we are no more, they are only the memories that we can leave as a solace to the bereaved ones. This is the message my father in law has conveyed, while he was there and when no more too. He has set an example for us. We thank the wonderful youngsters for all their prayers.

Thousand....One Thousand!! :-)

Woah!! One thousand hits!! appadi ippadi oraayiram hits!! Thanks buddies!! Time for me to update the blog on a regular basis!!

Cheers... :)

KANNAAMOOCHI ENADA...

Beautiful movie!! Director Priya has established her mark for creating beautiful movies, movies that aren’t really strong or grand or convincing or serious, movies that are just simple and beautiful. Kanda Naal Mudhal was beautiful, but had a big place for emotions too. This movie is a totally jolly one and is damn beautiful too. (Oops!! Beautiful enra vaarthayai ithanai murai ubayogithadhaal neengal indha review-vil irundhu neeka padugireergal!! J ).

The star cast is what adds beauty and liveliness to the movie. Though the movie’s all about love, it reaches to two couples – the young ones who are in love (nothing really special though) and the older ones who had a love marriage (best couple of the movie J ). Sathyaraj is absolutely stunning, as always. Have always liked him and his acting and has done a wonderful job in this movie too. Radhika has established herself, esp. of late, with mega-serials that there’s nothing exceptional about her performance in this movie. Prithviraj is charming and awesome as always (latest Hero for whom mine and many girls’ heart go out to!! J ). But, there has to be a minus in any movie and that’s Sandhya’s acting. I haven’t really seen her movies, but from this movie, it’s pretty obvious that her acting was highly artificial and turned out to be really sick at times. When actors talk bout acting as, “It’s not acting, but reacting”, Sandhya has done over-acting more than mere reacting. Her screechy voice, unwanted enthusiasm, highly kiddish portrayal, etc. have created a negative niche for her. Although her character’s supposed to be innocent, kiddish and adamant, the Director could have done better in portraying it. Esp. towards the end of the movie when she asks Prithvi, “Harissssshhhhhhhhhh, ennngaaaaaaaaaaa poreeeeeeeeeeeee” ( not really sure if the alphabet stress depicts the tone), the theatre responds with a “Hayyae…”. The beautiful actress hasn’t been utilized properly.

The movies ‘Kanda Naal Mudhal’ and ‘Kannamoochi Enada’ are kinda classical, the way in which they are made and the title. There's a girl rendering “Kanda naal mudhalaai..” erroneously in this movie. The scene’s kinda nice though. Reminds one of the earlier movie ‘Kanda Naal Mudhal’. This is the girl whom Prithvi’s uncle wants him to marry (Prithvi! I sing erroneously well too ;-)… Oops, patchi says “J, u are married now" :-)).

Sripriya!! The best fit into the movie and does her role naturally and amazingly well. Have always liked her as she is mostly not the goody-goody heroine. In this movie too, she is a bold and now-single forest officer with full of nakkal and the perfect competitor for her brother, Sathyaraj, in adamancy and dominance. Sathyaraj is the Police Commissioner who talks about all the Murpokku concepts and equal rights for men and women. But at home, he treats his wife like a slave (depicted in a neat manner, not that serious and aggressive) and he is the change-over man from a lover to a husband. Sripriya happens to be his twin-sister (both jus don’t get along well) who doesn’t accept to being called elder and the only one to handle him jus perfectly as she is no less stubborn or adamant. Her nakkal, her way of talking and the conversations between her and Sathyaraj are the best. One can never say who performed the best – Sathyaraj or Sri Priya.

Director Priya shows a stint of her guru, Mani Ratnam, with the implicit humour in dialogues and the way of talking. Prithvi telling Sandhya “Nee mattum en love-ku ok sonne na naan un pera pasangalukku nalla thathaava iruppen”, Sathyaraj bluffing to his dad and the old dad calling him back when he’s about to leave and saying just “Nambittenda” reminded me of Mani Ratnam’s movies. J

The movie's light. Concepts like inter-caste marriage, brother-sister break-up, dominating husband, etc. though present, proceed in a very light, sometimes, jovial manner. Exactly the movie to which one would retire on a tired evening with a cup of coffee. It’s a movie where one doesn’t go with any expectations and where one doesn’t look out for logic or anything. It’s a beautifully made entertainer with the best star cast one could think of.

LIFE...

Came across it in the Internet today..

At dawn I asked the lotus,

'What is the meaning of life?'

Slowly she opened her hand

with nothing in it.

- Debra Woolard Bender, Paper Lanterns

:-) :-)

Dieting!! Is it that hard?

Oh Man!! Is it so damn hard to stay on a strict diet for even a week or a day?? Kudos to those who manage to go on strict dieting, despite yummy food on the table, all the temptations, the let-me-take-a-break syndrome and those momentary justifications!!!!

Just a heartfelt thought :-)

Rule Vs Justified Thought

When one ponders about the rules not being followed or about the chaos growing day by day, maybe this is the reason. What one actually thinks!!

RULE 1

Pay your Income Tax. A part of your salary goes for the development of the state/country you live in

THOUGHT 1

A part of my salary, in the name of Income Tax, goes to the development of the pockets of individuals in the Government offices and those with political influences. I would keep it rather for my own development.

What’s wrong? My thought is justified.

RULE 2

Give way for ambulances, help save lives. Give way for vehicles with the siren on.

THOUGHT 2

All vehicles with siren are being used for personal reasons these days. Depicted perfectly in the movie Chennai 600024, the ambulance came rushing with the siren to the playground carrying cricket accessories for the match. Don’t think that was an exaggeration. The other day, we saw the now sophisticated police car (Tamil Nadu police have been gifted Air conditioned Hyundai accent cars with mounted digicams, revolving lights, loudspeakers, fire extinguishers, hooters and handcuffs) . With the siren on, we saw the policeman and his wife. :-) A couple of days back, a policeman (in mufty again) was chatting with some guy in his Hyundai Accent (sure the chat is not official) and the car wasn’t even parked in a corner of the road. Despite repeated honking asking him to give way, he was least bothered.

(One of the several interesting articles - http://swapna.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/11/why-do-chennai-police-need-new-cars-.htm - I agree with only a part of the article tho, esp. about the misuse of the cars making one wonder at times, "Are they necessary at all?")

I was traveling in a private bus the other day. The bus driver didn’t give way to the ambulance that was following us for long. In spite of asking him to give way, he didn’t. And finally, after some of us yelled at him, he gave way saying “Ulla oru uyir oosalaa adudhu? Avan avan personal use kaaga siren pottuttu varuvaan, namma vazhi vidanuma?” (“Don’t think there is a life to be saved there, people use the siren for their own purposes, why should I give way?”). We just shouted back at him saying that he is not supposed to bother about all that, but just give way. This incident was the motivation for me to write this article.

Rule Vs Thought -- What’s wrong with the thought that is well justified? This is the prevailing scenario today. Had the makers of the rule been followers, why would there be so much chaos today? Anyways, let us give way for ambulances always. :-)

Living in Chennai these days... Part III

We went on a drive to Trichy a couple of weeks back. NH-45 is the highway under renovation and construction and looks like it’s going to be awesome driving down the highway once it’s complete. But a lot of bitter experiences on the way with regards to traffic control and drivers and sign boards. Anyways am too bugged right now to continue on the sickening traffic scenario (I’v already exceeded 6 pages with the previous articles), so am not planning to jot down anything right now, maybe sometime later.

Initially, I wanted to publish just one post on how things are at Chennai, but most unfortunately, I had to extend about just the traffic aspect to two posts. Am bored myself now JJ. So here comes the last part, hoping to keep this really short.

Two bothering scenarios are traffic and negligence. One’s work never gets done, esp. in the Government offices. Therinja vishayamdhaane!!!! But things are worsening day by day, reasons being

1. Corruption everywhere from the head to the tail, so nobody to question
2. Mutual inspiration
3. Common man’s weakness – a situation where things wont get done if he’s not going to give money and if he is not patient enough to wait, be it years too.

Latest bitter experience – We had to get the EC for our house. One person from the Govt. office (who I noticed, sits outside the office everday, collecting bribes from people and help getting their work done) had helped us too in getting the documents (Actually, we could have got the documents ourselves, just a matter of a stamp paper with attestation). He took money for getting that done and his charges included the Notary’s fee for the attestation (fee * 3), the stamp paper charges, his transportation charges (supposed to be an auto charge, but he uses his cycle only to commute) and his fees (oh I see!!!). Finally, we got all the documents and went into the office the next day for the Registrar’s approval. We went to the Registrar and he directed us to a lady who offered to get things done. We thought she was his PA and things have to go through her, so we didn’t mind. She asked us to come in the afternoon and collect the EC. When we went in the afternoon, she made us wait for an hour and then handed us the EC and called me inside and asked me unnoticeably for Rs. 500/- I was shocked, I told her that the fee is just 120 and why should I give her 500/- . She simply said that if not for her help we wouldn’t have got the EC that day and the amount includes the amount to be vettufied to everybody including the Registrar. She also mentioned that she usually demanded more and said “Neengala paarthu kudunga”. I told her that I’v already paid the person outside and am not willing to pay anymore, that too, for just getting the signature of the Registrar and also making us wait for an hour. Finally, I said I can give her 200/- (bargaining???) and nothing more. She became so emotional and she refused to take any money and started behaving weirdly accusing herself for having done so much for us (so much???). Hmm…things start from the Registrar in the Registar office, so no point accusing this lady alone. I know that the next time I go to the office, I wont be able to get anything done JJ.

So many people have so many bitter experiences with these Government offices that so many of their major plans went for a toss. I can quote so many awful incidences, but just not in a mood to, moreover everybody knows how the situation is.

In this fast moving world, the concern for one another goes down too. How many of us know about purse and chain snatching during the middle of the day in the middle of the road. How many of us are actually bold/concerned to help the victim catch the thief, we only sympathise. Snatching chains, or snatching lives – the response from the public is the same. Well, did anybody ask for your sympathies? Had everybody joined together and attacked the murderer/thief, it would set an examples and these culprits would think twice before repeating it again. But then, our weakness is their strength, and the more weaker we grow, the more stronger do these anti-social elements become. Looks like a Moral Science class in school, but then, isn’t that so true??

Intensive use of CFC and anti-environmental materials (without which life today is so difficult), deforestation to enable construction of more flats, moving from wells to bore wells to the deepest levels of underground water, immense use of chemicals for trees and plants to yield more vegetables and fruits, etc. etc. all to attend to the needs of the terrorisingly growing population (that is not economically balanced either). We are inviting our own disaster.

Just a matter of negligence and the rush for survival. Ignoring and accepting whatever it be, has become our way of life today.

With corruption at every corner, as Rajni says in the movie, Sivaji, “The rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer”. Consequence – Civil War obviously!!!!!!! I heard that it has been said in Vishnu Puranam that in the Kali Yugam, man will be the reason for his own disaster. How true!!!

There are so many who want to do so much for this country and its people, but they realize that it is impossible. No wonder more and more people tend to settle abroad today. Including me, there have been so many who were highly patriotic about India, but on seeing how our own people have changed the most beautiful country to how it is today, patriotism goes meaningless and worthless..

Individual Discipline and enforcement of laws alone can save the country!!